Uganda - Day Two

     I have kept a journal for nearly twelve years. For as long as I can remember, I've been writing down my thoughts and feelings and questions, whether they are "I hate guys" or "I hate my sister," a pen and paper have always been the dearest friends to me. So when my mother suggested that  I buy a new journal to take to Uganda with me in the summer of 2011, I wondered why I hadn't thought of it myself.
     A friend bought a nice journal and pen and gave them to me. I tried to write every night that I was in Uganda, but exhaustion and emotion overtook me after eight days and I didn't finish the journey out completely. But tonight, I found the journal and read it for the first time since writing it. I have never revisited these places in such detail, and I want to share them with all of you.

June 18, 2011 - Uganda, Day Two

     I don't even know how to begin. We arrived in Entebbe, Uganda around 9 a.m. yesterday (Friday) morning and drove to Kampala. The drive was amazing. The #1 rule of driving in Kampala: If you have position, you have the right-of-way, meaning that if someone shoves their way in front of you, you have to let them go. It's nerve-wracking and hilarious at the same time. There are "boda-bodas" everywhere! They are motorcycles (usually taxis) that weave in and out of all the cars, with only inches of space between them. It's nuts.
     Our hotel is really nice. No a/c, but I've been entirely too exhausted to notice. I slept twelve hours last night!
     After we got in yesterday, we ate lunch at the mall. That's quite an experience! You sit down in the food court and all these waiters come out and give you menus from all the different places to eat. They compete for your business. It's so much fun! Then we bought cell phones and muck boots (all the necessities) before going out to Kimombasa (pronounced "CHI-mom-bah-sah" in Luganda).
     There we split up into teams and I went with Johnny Spicer, Shelby Guin, and our translator and minister, Vincent. Vincent is absolutely amazing, with the Ugandan people, with me, everything. He's also hilarious. So we went from family to family, telling them about Jesus. Several were saved! It was incredible.
     I met a little girl named Rachel and a 13-year-old named Tabitha, who asked me to pray that God would give her wisdom. WISDOM. She has absolutely nothing, and she asked for wisdom. Humbled to have even met her, I prayed that God would bless her as He did Solomon. I'll never forget her.
     Then we went back to the hotel, had dinner, and I CRASHED. I went to bed at 7:45 p.m. and woke up at 8:15 the next morning. Over twelve hours. I was exhausted to say the least!
     This morning we went to Sabina, a slum just across the street from our hotel. We did Manna distributions (Manna is a six-month program for some of the poorest families in these slums. During those months, they don't have to buy any food and can use their money to invest in things to better their lives. One woman invested in a wheel-barrow, and started a business by renting it out. Now she owns several and makes enough money to support her family and send her children to school. THIS is what James was talking about in 2:14-17, "¹⁴ What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds?Can such faith save them? ¹⁵ Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food.¹⁶ If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? ¹⁷ In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.") 
     We went into one house where a woman named Olivia lived. She has three kids and is married. With the money she saves by not buying food, she sends her brother to school (inevitably changing his life). In Sabina, their homes are completely flooded when it rains because they live downhill. It's poured twice since we've been here. It's devastating to see, but Olivia has solid faith in God and I was very humbled by it. Her baby has an ear infection and is coughing a lot, but thankfully she has medicine for him. 
     After visiting a few more families, we went back to the vans to find a swarm (or a MOB) of kids. Older children would walk up and just hand a baby to me. I have tons of pictures. One little girl stayed with me for at least an hour. Her name is Sophia and she was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Her teeth were perfect and her laugh was infectious. She liked to repeat everything I said :) 
     After that, we ate lunch at the mall again and then split up half-and-half to go to house churches. Adam and I had the opportunity to give our testimonies and we all sang "Amazing Grace." Then Taylor, Tucker, Adam, and I went with Vincent to do a children's church. I told the story of David and Goliath, Tucker told about Daniel in the lions' den, and Adam told about Noah and also about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. And we sang SO MUCH! They were sweet. I met a 12-year-old girl named Narosa, who spoke English very well because she can afford to go to school. She told Taylor and I that we are both "very beautiful." She was beautiful, and so sweet for interpreting what some of the kids were saying to me. 
     When we were starting to leave, we bought jewelry from a lady at the church service. After I paid, I said, "Webale," which is "thank you" in Luganda. She took my hand and said, "You're very welcome. My name is Rachel, what's yours?" After I told her mine was the same, she laughed and hugged me so tightly that I almost lost my balance and fell on top of her! Such joy. She was such a sweet lady.
     I got to talk to my parents tonight. I'm drained and thankful. Thank you, Jesus.
-Rachel

The blessings and lessons I experienced that day are flooding back to me again.

Light and Dark.

“The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going.”

-Jesus

I’m a new college student. I’m at a time in my life when my future is so unclear, I can’t even tell you what I’m doing tomorrow. I feel like a blind man in a crowded place, where everyone seems to know where they’re headed, and I can’t even see the direction I’m facing. My only peace comes straight from the mouth of Jesus.

When Jesus said this to a crowd of Greeks in John 12:35, He was telling them of His coming death, and why He was sent in the first place. In verse 46, He says, “I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.” His explanation is simple. HE is light. If we walk with Him, there’s no way we can be in darkness.

My favorite part about all of this is how it relates to Psalm 139. In verses 11 and 12, David says, “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You.” David wrote the Psalms long before Jesus walked the earth, and he already understood. God is light (therefore, Jesus is light), and wherever He is (everywhere), there IS light. With God, darkness does not exist.

I’m human. I can’t see the future. But, I’m not walking in the dark; I know where I’m going.. because Light is leading me!

-Rachel

Beauty.

One of the most valuable lessons taught to me as a Christian was in my American Literature class a few weeks ago. I have thought of it daily since.

"Find beauty in everyone.

You don't destroy things you think are beautiful."

That is all.

Listening and Doing.

I always say that I'm a "word person." I enjoy having a large vocabulary. Communication runs the world, so speaking eloquently and correctly is important to me.

Having good grammar is not the most important thing, however, although I've always been an obnoxious Nazi about it. Words themselves are the most important. How often the Bible says, "Take my words to heart" and "lay hold of my words with all your heart," isn't something I've noticed before... But it says it over and over again.

When I pray to God, I want Him to listen, to absorb my words and not forget them. IT's so important to me. How much more important is it that I listen to His words? He says it over and over. "Rachel, I'm telling you something. SHUT UP, listen, and then do what I say."

God gave us His words to show us how to live... Righteously, according to Jesus' example. Everything we need to know to live "right" is written in a book that has been around for thousands of years. The times were incredibly different, but the words are so relevant to the "now..." yet still, I'm struggling to remember what this book says?

I can carry on a conversation in movie quotes. How much scripture do I have memorized? I can

sing hundreds of songs by memory, learn a new one after hearing it twice... But I couldn't even manage to memorize Hebrews 4:12 this week for my Bible study? (Ironically, Hebrews 4:12 is about the importance of the Word of God).

I don't want to even touch the subject of my "worship." Worship is my favorite time of any church service I go to, but it's just lip-service. Where's my worship during my every day routine? Certainly not coming out of my mouth. My mouth is too full of complaints about the weather, or the "ugly look" that girl just gave me. Surely those words aren't worship. The heart behind them is not concerned with God at all.

Words are the most powerful thing we have control over. Our words can hurt and mend. God's words can save. Listening to them is LIFE. That's promised over and over.

Proverbs 4:4, 13, 20-24 -> "Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live. Hold on to instruction, do not let it go, guard it well, for it is your life. Pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips."

James 1:18-27 -> "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in the mirror, and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it-- he will be blessed in what he does. If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

If you read this, whisper a prayer for me, that I can apply His Word to my life. I'll do the same for you.

Much love,

Rach

"Here I Am."

The bush was on fire. The bush was still intact. The bush didn't burn up. Yet, the flames rose from it.

"Moses! Moses!"

"Here I am."

Standing in the presence of God, Moses took of his shoes. This was holy ground.

As I stood barefoot in the grass on campus, one of many students worshipping an unfailing Father, I was reminded of this story. The presence of God was so heavy around us. I was overwhelmed by the fact that if we could feel Him in that small section of the ATU campus, He could be felt on the entire campus. No doubt, all of campus could hear the shouts of "Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, our God reigns!" Over, and over, and over again.

The story of Moses before the burning bush makes me question: When did we become so comfortable in the presence of God that we forgot to be reverent? Yes, God is our friend. Yes, God is our Father. Yes, God wants us to feel comfortable speaking with Him... But He's still God. "Who among the gods is like You, O Lord? Who is like You-- majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders?" (Exodus 15:11). He's incomparable, unmatched, holy, and to be revered. Just because He's our friend doesn't mean He's our equal.

No, I don't think we always have to take our shoes off to worship. I don't think we have to pray, "O Thy Thine Doest what Thou Dost." But I do think God expects (and demands) our very best. I do think He expects to be respected and revered. I know that He is God, not our "bestie for the restie" (although He is, but you know what I mean). He deserves our very best, not our mediocre-"I don't like this song, but I'll worship anyway"-kind of worship. He deserves our ALL, no matter what we're feeling, no matter the circumstance... No matter. He expects the attitude, "Here I am," and He expects us to strip off whatever separates us from His holy ground- and His holiness in general. Whether that's our shoes, our relationships, our attitudes... Take it off. Leave it behind. Strip down out of reverence for His holiness and majesty, and say, "Here I am."

I went on a date today...

...with myself.

It was the best thing I could have done for myself, and right now, for my relationship with God. It opened my eyes to the fact that before I had Him, I had nothing. Especially, I had no confidence.

I used to make up facts about myself in order to impress boys (this was in 9th grade, not yesterday, mind you). I was strong-willed, and that came off as self-assuredness, but I wasn't confident. If I didn't have a boy to text 24/7, I had nothing. My value came from their attention, and it lasted as long as their short attention span. Before Jesus, I was worthless.

Today was good for my relationship with Him because it was a reminder that although right now I'm single, and even though I have no one to take me out on dates, I have a King who loves me and loves to dote upon me. No, I'll never be one of those "Jesus is my boyfriend" girls, because I understand that His love for me is so much bigger than that, and it's a Fatherly love. But He does care about my emotions and my desires, and today He knew I needed to be loved on.

I took myself on date and I walked with a Royal confidence (I actually had that thought when I walked through the mall to Candy Craze-- I noticed that my head was held erect and I might have even been "strutting" a little.. hehe). God showed me that my value comes from being His daughter, not from some pimple-y, hormonal, and lusty boy's attention. He thinks I'm the bee's knees, y'all. How could I not be confident in that? :) And He knows my wants! He made me a girl, He knows what I like, and today He loved on me. He created my femininity, and now He's taught me to embrace it. (I'm rambling now, but I'm going to keep going for a sec). It's OKAY for me to want a guy to lead me spiritually (that's how it should be), and it's OKAY for me to not settle for anything less. It's OKAY for me to have specifications about my relationships. I don't have to explain that to anyone. I'm a girl (woman, whatever) and I get to consult with my Dad about my relationships, and adjust them accordingly, no questions asked. Because I'm His, I hold myself to a higher standard, and I refuse to settle for anything less than what He'd deem acceptable.

That went off topic, but it happens... I'm a girl, after all, and I stinkin' LOVE it.

"God has set within you a femininity that is powerful and tender, fierce and alluring. No doubt it has been misunderstood. Surely it has been assaulted. But it is there, your true heart, and it is worth recovering. You are captivating." Stasi Eldredge, "Captivating"

Girls, go do something girly... by yourself. Paint your nails, put on some mascara, and/or watch a chick-flick. Love yourself, let God love you, and then worry about those boys.

Wisdom Like Solomon... and Tabitha.

It feels like a lifetime ago that I walked the "streets" of the slums of Kampala, Uganda.
But the truth is, I've only been home two weeks.

The most frustrating thing about trying to blog about everything I experienced there is that my words aren't sufficient. My pictures aren't sufficient. Nothing that I could try to relate to whoever reads this will be sufficient. Only being there, holding babies, holding hands, loving on people, getting filthy, tromping through mud, swatting mosquitos, wiping sweat, wiping tears, embracing differences, noticing similarities, reading scripture, praying for new believers, talking to unbelievers, smelling body odors, seeing desperation, touching lives and letting yours be touched as well- only those things would sufficiently explain everything that's on my heart.

I think the only way I can adequately express the lessons I learned while in Uganda would be to blog one story, or maybe one day, at a time. So naturally, I'll start with day one.

There is nothing like knowing you're in exactly the right place at exactly God's time. I knew it from the moment I stepped onto the runway in Entebbe. After we ate lunch, we went on our first "mission." I was told about Kimombasa long before the trip began, and I was so happy that we were going to work in that slum. It's name has come to mean "The place of the sex workers." Victims of sex trafficking and prostitution stole my heart a long time ago, so I was excited to get to work in Kimombasa. Those people need Jesus in a very desperate and urgent way.

That first day, we met some ladies who were already believers. We talked with them awhile, and I got to know a 13-year-old girl named Tabitha. After talking with her, I asked if there was anything I could pray with her about. Her response? "Please pray that God would bless me with wisdom. I would like to have wisdom." Wisdom!? I was sitting there, looking around at the SHACK that she lived in, and at her shoeless, dirty feet, at all the holes in her clothes, and she was looking at me, asking that I pray she would have wisdom. It seemed to me that any 13-year-old girl who had nothing and only wanted wisdom-- probably already had some.

Of course, my immediate thought when she asked that was of Solomon. He asked for wisdom when God said, "Ask for whatever you want me to give you," (1 Kings 3:5, 2 Chronicles 1:7). "The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this," (1 Kings 3:10). God said, "Since this is your hearts desire and you have not asked for wealth, riches or honor, nor for the death of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge, wisdom and knowledge will be given you. And I will also give you wealth, and riches and honor," (2 Chronicles 1:11-12).

And so I prayed. For both of us. That God would bless her as He did King Solomon and that I could grow my faith to the size of Tabitha's. I doubt that girl knows how much she impacted me. No shoes, and she wanted wisdom. God bless her. This is me holding a little one who shares my name, and Tabitha is in the orange skirt. Partner with me in prayer for these two! Thank you so much!

Many, many more stories to come.

Rachel